NUTTY CRACKERS: Week 4


Sunday 28 August


The fancy dress Indian PARTY was in full swing. Chicken curry with MANGO chutney. Crackers’ EAGLE eyes spotted Nutty’s GAFFE. She should not have created a sari from a white GAUZE bandage. Already stained with chutney, it was now slipping from her rotund nutty body. Soon it would be around her ankles.




Monday 29 August


If I wanted to PAINT centuries ago, I would have to join a GUILD. Can you imagine working in the City of London to the CHIME of Bow Bells awaiting the arrival of the big CHIEF?

“Would that be the Lord Mayor of London Dick Whittington with his cat?”asked Nutty.




Tuesday 30 August


“At LEAST you haven’t SPENT all day watching tv, Nutty. With the ONSET of winter, there will be plenty of time to catch up on Countdown. Forget these elusive nine-letter words. Wordle is bad enough with five!”

Crackers pulled on his green boots.

“Let’s go for a jog.”




Wednesday 31 August


“Are we aiming to TRAIN for fun or shall I GRILL you to run faster and enter the race? The nearby towpath is a PRIME spot for a jog, but every other runner knows that. I will be filled with PRIDE if you win a PRIZE for running a marathon in green wellies.” said the little nut to her friend.





Thursday 1 September


Nutty thought it would be SMART if she PLIED Crackers with FIZZY drinks before running. Wrong! There was much rumbling in his FUNIC area and small bubbles of sweat popped out from his facial indents like fast-growing FUNGI.






Friday 2 September


The smell of FRIED fish and chips was in STARK contrast to the disinfectant smell of chlorine bleach. The pan did not actually go on fire but smoked enough to set off the ALARM and now the blackened tea towel was soaking in bleach. “Good thing you were wearing your lucky four leaf clover CHARM today, Nutty.” You could have singed your eyelashes!”



Saturday 3 September


The two friends were going to MEDIA City in Manchester to watch the filming of Coronation Street.

“Please don’t fall into that ROUGH GULLY Crackers!”

The water in the stream feeding the canal was low because of the dry summer. Crackers reckoned he had seen a pied wagtail fly along the gully.

“We are here to see where the BBC and ITV hang out, check on artist Lowry, maybe Man United…..it’s not a bird watching field trip.”

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